Please read my essay and give me some feedback.?

People don’t practice what they preach, from Shakespearean times to today this has always been the case. As the quote from Hamlet (I.III.51) states “ Do not, as some ungracious pastors do, Show me the steep and thorny way to heaven; Whiles, like a puff;d and reckless libertine, Himself the primrose path of dalliance threads, And recks not his own rede.” Laertes has given Ophelia his advice, but Ophelia telling him not to give her advice that he would not use himself.



In our world today people often do this. They give people advice which they would not use themselves. There are certain reasons that someone would do this; one being that they are trying to manipulate the person that they are giving advice too. Laertes knew that Ophelia was vulnerable; as would anyone who was hearing someone elses problems. When someone is pouring their heart out to another, its easy to seem vulnerable, considering your asking for help and seeming confused. This is a good opportunity for the advice giver to take control over the person who is asking for advice. Whether it is Laertes to Ophelia, a mother to a daughter, or a friend to a friend people do this to this day. Say a daughter was going through a tough time with her boyfriend, who her mother did not approve of. When the daughter comes to her mother, upset and confused, with a problem about the boyfriend the mother could seize this opportunity to tell her daughter to break up with him. Because the daughter is feeling so lost, confused and vulnerable she will most likely take her mothers advice. Then the most is left satisfied, and will continue to convince the daughter that it was the right decision, until the daughter is fully confident that it was. As you can see this is a very manipulative way to get someone to do what you want. Laertes was trying to help Ophelia; he did not want her to be with Hamlet so in a way he was trying to manipulate her. Laertes warned Ophelia about Hamlet, how he only cared for himself and he told Ophelia to be careful. He knew that she was vulnerable and confused about Hamlet and he took the opportunity to manipulate her with his advice.



However, that is not the only reason someone would give advice that they would not use themselves. Often people who are not experiencing the problem that the person who is asking for help is experiencing, they have a much different view. They have a clear and open mind and it’s much easier to see the situation clearly; but if they were the one experiencing it, their mind would probably be fogged just like the person their helping. When we have problems, whether it be personal, financial or anything, we tend to overreact and think there is no solution. It’s very helpful to have an outside view because then we can see the situation in a new light. They can offer fresh advice that the person might now have been able to think of if they didn’t have a second opinion. Suppose someone was feeling depressed, they were failing school, they just broke up with their boyfriend and all their friends hated them. Sitting in their room alone could make them go crazy, rethinking their own bad advice and really making them more depressed. Say if their brother walked in the room, and started telling them how none of the really mattered, they still have their family. Then the brother offered to go out for ice cream. Just having another person’s perspective can make everything better.



Another reason that people, to this day, do not practice what they preach is because it’s hard to follow through with the advice that you give others. It’s easy to tell someone to do something that is right but when it comes to you doing the right thing it becomes much harder. It was easy for Laertes to tell Ophelia to forget about Hamlet because he is unworthy, but say if Laertes had been in love, it would be much more difficult for him to follow through with that advice. People know the right thing to do, that’s why most people give correct advice when asked, but when it comes to using that advice in personal situations it becomes very difficult.

Please read my essay and give me some feedback.?
I'm probably wrong, but to me it seemed like the first sentence should just be "People don’t practice what they preach" then "from Shakespearean times to today this has always been the case" would be the second sentence.



"Laertes has given Ophelia his advice, but Ophelia telling him not to give her advice that he would not use himself." I think that "telling" should be "told"



"a mother to a daughter, or a friend to a friend people do this to this day" I think there should be a comma after "friend to a friend".



"he did not want her to be with Hamlet so in a way he was trying to manipulate her"

comma after Hamlet.



"He knew that she was vulnerable and confused about Hamlet and he took the opportunity to manipulate her with his advice." Instead of the "and" after Hamlet, you could use "so".



"whether it be personal, financial or anything"

Maybe make it "anything else"



"They can offer fresh advice that the person might now have been able to think " I think "now" should be "not"



"Suppose someone was feeling depressed, " I think that that should be a sentence by itself. Then "they were failing school, they just broke up with their boyfriend and all their friends hated them" would be another sentence.





"rethinking their own bad advice and really making them more depressed" maybe:

rethinking their own bad advice, and making themselves depressed even further.



"and started telling them how none of the really mattered they still have their family"

how none of the misfortunes mattered and that they still have their family.

*probably not misfortunes, I couldn't think of another word*



"It’s easy to tell someone to do something that is right but when it comes to you doing the right thing it becomes much harder."

commas after right and after right thing



Just minor things, you're a very good writer.
Reply:Is this a paper that you are turning in for school? What grade are you in?

Speaking from a teacher's standpoint, not knowing your grade, I will say that you make some interesting points. However, the paper is choppy. The ideas do not flow together as smoothly as they should. In addition, there are several conventional mistakes (punctuation, grammar, etc.) which make the paper a difficult read.

A conclusion is also missing.

This is a good start, but it does need some work. Keep writing.
Reply:B+ to A-
Reply:Personally, I believe that many people, when faced with a decision, have already sub-consciously decided on their course of action and/or choice.

Afterwards, they they then request advice of others, and allow themselves to be persauded, sometimes not in the direction of their convictions.

Usually, people offering the advice, neglect to place themselves in the circumstances or positions of the one seeking advice, and although the advice is given in good faith, it is not particular to the matter on hand.
Reply:Your observations are on point, however, instead of using theoretical situations, if you could manage a simile to, say, present-day politics, your essay would rate an A+.





Just my humble opinion.





Good Luck.
Reply:very long but itz good